Happy Tail: Newman
There are cat fanciers. And then there is Jess who, having adopted Newman — the most fabulously idiosyncratic cat in the universe and the snuggliest — is today an evangelist for homing rescue cats. It’s easy to understand why. Among Newman’s many distinctive qualities that endlessly delight Jess, husband Vince, and cat brother Oliver:
- he is a social butterfly and greets people at the door — even delivery people!
- he knows when Jess ties up a garbage bag that they are taking out the trash, and he accompanies her to the garbage chute in their condo
- he loves being cradled like a baby
- he brings his ball to their friends and family when they are over to play fetch with him (yes, fetch)
- he often drops his ball on Jess’ face in the morning if she doesn’t get up fast enough
- he helps Jess put the groceries away
- he is fascinated by bubbles and ice; drinking glasses containing either cannot be left unattended
- he loves to slurp running water from the tap as Jess brushes her teeth each morning
- he adores sitting by the window and comes sprinting when it’s opened
- he loves to sleep on the laundry basket in the washroom. Another favourite spot is the top (must be the top) window hammock. And if Oliver takes the top bunk, Newman makes him move to the bottom one
- he is NOT afraid of the vacuum (a first!) and follows Jess around the house, watching intently
- his nickname is Zoomie Newmie, because his midnight zoom sessions are unmatched! (Oliver is Ollie Bear)
As is so often the case with rescue cats, things could have ended very differently for Newman and his five siblings, who were saved along with their mama in late-2024. Though details of their capture are murky (ACR internal notes simply say the cat was “dumped”), we do know that mama cat Lucy and her month-old babies first went to foster Jules.
Once weaned, the six kittens — then named Melt, Candle, Wick, Wax, Candelabra, and Incense — moved in with prolific foster Nazia who renamed them with “L” names in honour of Lucy. And so, Linen, Lilypad, Lantern, Leaflet, Lava and Lemon were, respectively, rechristened.
“They were all amazing cats,” Nazia recalls. “I do remember Linen being such a handsome, charming cat. He was very loving, even with his siblings. He was gracious and the perfect blend of playful and sweet.”
Around that time in early 2025, Jess and Vince were emerging from their grief over losing their 15-year-old cat Oreo the previous November due to complications from kidney disease. Says Jess, “I thought, ‘We have a perfectly good home for a cat, and I feel bad that there are so many out there needing a home.’ Once the new year hit and I felt emotionally ready, I started looking around.”
The couple first adopted Oliver from another rescue, not ACR. “He was supposed to arrive with a buddy cat, but the rescue kept delaying. Oliver was anxious and timid and really needed a buddy. I had to prioritize his needs.”
So, Jess approached ACR. “And I found Newman, then named Linen, and immediately fell in love because his description said that he had insane head bumps — and he still does, bumping his head into my head like a rhinoceros. It’s the cutest thing. And he looks like one of my childhood cats.”
As pop culture aficionados might surmise, Newman is named for the character from Seinfeld; Vince is a fan of the show. “Oliver was originally supposed to be Jerry but… I just couldn’t. He did not look like a Jerry. But Newman was perfect for Linen because we are constantly saying, ‘Oh, Newman!’” Jess laughs, spoofing on the familiar catchphrase from the series.
Further enhancing the happiness quotient of this story, Nazia notes that Leaflet, Lilypad and Lemon were adopted together into the same home “and are doing great.” Lava and Lantern went into separate homes as buddy cats; mama Lucy was also adopted through ACR.
Says Jess, “Even Vince says he has never encountered a cat like Newman. He is so funny, my shadow, and we call him the ‘unhandy helper’ because he needs to be involved in everything. Sorry for all this information,” Jess chuckles. “But I love these fur babies so much. I can talk about them all day!”
-Kim Hughes